250+ Halloween Jokes & Puns To Crack Up Every Ghoul 

Your party is creeping up and your brain feels like a scooped pumpkin. You need fast, clean laughs that kids giggle at and adults actually enjoy.

This guide stacks the best halloween jokes by category kids, adults, knock knock, puns, and more, so you can grab what you need in seconds. Stick around and stock your candy bowl with punchlines that hit. 

Best Halloween Jokes To Start the Laughs

Kick off with halloween jokes that land fast and stay clean.

• The skeleton joined a gym to get ripped and he still skips leg day since he lost them.
• A witch opened a bakery and every muffin came with a little spell.
• The vampire started a garden and nothing grew because he refused to stake plants.
• A ghost tried online dating and everyone swiped through him.
• The mummy took a day off and HR asked for a wrap up.
• The zombie signed up for brain training and he called it meal prep.
• The pumpkin tried stand up and the audience squashed it with laughs.
• Dracula went to the dentist and got fang floss.
• The werewolf switched to decaf and the full moon got a break.
• The skeleton opened a band and they played heavy metal on xylophone.
• The ghost installed a sheet belt in his car and it kept him in line.
• The witch took the broom to driving school and aced parallel soaring.
• The vampire volunteered at a blood drive and called it take your work home day.
• The monster started therapy and the couch screamed first.
• The pumpkin spice latte attacked my budget and my wallet yelled boo.

Short and Funny Jokes

Bite size gags you can fire off faster than a doorbell chime.

• I asked a ghost for a selfie and it said I do not show up.
• My broom quit on me and said it was swept away.
• A skeleton at the party brought ribs and no grill.
• A vampire hates fast food because it cannot catch it.
• The zombie tried yoga and found inner peace in the snack aisle.
• A pumpkin told me to smile and I carved one right back.
• The mummy asked for a raise and management said unwrap that attitude.
• A witch at the cafe ordered a potion to go and the lid cackled.
• A ghost joined a choir and only sang boo notes.
• Dracula saw his reflection and left a one star review.
• The werewolf loves podcasts and he calls them howl to guides.
• A skeleton cannot lie because his face has zero muscle.
• The monster bought slippers and scared them into sneakers.
• Candy corn auditioned for a band and played sweet sharp.
• A black cat crossed my path and my Wi Fi dropped for drama.

Jokes for Kids

Clean and cute halloween jokes that make little monsters giggle safe.

• Why did the skeleton bring a ladder to class. He wanted higher grades.
• What do you call a ghost with a great voice. A boo diva.
• Why did the pumpkin sit by the door. He wanted to be a porch star.
• What is a vampire favorite fruit. Neck tarines.
• Why did the witch stay in school. She wanted to improve her spelling.
• What kind of dog do mummies have. A labracadabra.
• Why was the ghost a great musician. He had perfect boo pitch.
• What room does a ghost not need. A living room.
• Why did the skeleton go to the party alone. He had no body to go with.
• Why do vampires love the newspaper. They like circulation.
• Why did the mummy like winter. It helped him keep his wraps cool.
• What is a pumpkin favorite sport. Squash.
• Why did the zombie bring a fork to the library. He heard they had brain food.
• What do witches put on their bagels. Scream cheese.
• Why did the bat sit in the computer lab. He wanted to work on his byte.

Halloween Jokes for Adults

A touch cheeky and still party safe for mixed company. These halloween jokes wink without crossing the line.

• The vampire started intermittent fasting and called it sunset brunch.
• My witch friend joined a startup and now every sprint is a broom sprint.
• A skeleton tried speed dating and matched with calcium rich milk.
• I told the zombie to network and he chewed the icebreaker.
• Dracula uses dark mode and calls it lifestyle branding.
• Our mummy friend hates drama and he is very wrapped up already.
• A ghost ghosted me and I felt oddly seen through.
• The werewolf joined a barbershop quartet and every chorus ended in a howl.
• The vampire accountant said my returns lacked interest and bite.
• A witch put a hex on my budget and my cart behaved.
• The skeleton took a spa day and got a bone broth facial.
• The monster tried mindfulness and the app asked for fewer growls.
• The pumpkin opened a bank and called it pie nance.
• Dracula went to therapy and said he needs space because he cannot reflect.
• A zombie wrote a memoir and the editor asked for more brains and less bites.

Dirty Jokes 

A little cheeky and still party safe for mixed company.

• The vampire flirted at the blood bank and called it speed dating. The snacks were a red flag.
• A witch promised a wild ride and then showed up with a broom and a helmet. Safety first always.
• The werewolf texted after midnight and called it prime time. He is big on timing.
• The skeleton offered a body of work and forgot the body. Classic overpromise.
• Dracula said he is into neck wear and I took one polite step back. Fashion can bite.
• The mummy prefers a slow unwrap with candlelight. Romance lives in the tomb.
• The ghost said I am very transparent about my intentions. I blushed and nodded through them.
• The vampire asked for a bite and I handed over garlic bread. Boundaries taste amazing.
• The witch suggested a nightcap and arrived with a cauldron lid. That is commitment.
• The zombie pitched forebrains and still forgot the plan. He calls that progress.
• The pumpkin said we should carve out time together and winked. Smooth as pie.
• The demon claimed to be hot stuff and the smoke alarm agreed. That is one loud compliment.
• The skeleton asked for a rib tickle and I lost my poker face. Humor hits the bone.
• The vampire said I am a sucker for you. I checked my wallet and my neck.
• The witch brewed love potion number enough. It tasted like strong coffee and hope.

Halloween Dad Jokes

Groan worthy gems for maximum eye rolls and easy laughs.

• I do not trust mummies. They are too wrapped up in themselves.
• Skeletons do not fight. They do not have the guts.
• Witches ace spelling. They always study their spells.
• Ghosts love elevators. They really lift their spirits.
• Vampires avoid banks. They fear interest but adore interest.
• The pumpkin invested in squash funds. The dividends were delicious.
• The werewolf started a grooming blog. It went viral once a month.
• Dracula cannot reflect on his choices. Mirrors never give feedback.
• The zombie opened a diner. It serves brunch of the dead.
• The bat loves smartphones. Dark mode is a lifestyle.
• The skeleton started a band. He rocks the trombone.
• The mummy loves winter. It keeps his wrap crisp.
• The ghost always brings sheet music. He hits the boo notes.
• The vampire runs on solar savings. He saves them for night.
• The pumpkin joined a gym. Great core values in that place.

Halloween Knock Knock Jokes

Quick call and response bits made for doorsteps and kids. 

• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Boo.
  Boo who?
  Don’t cry, it’s Halloween!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Witch.
  Witch who?
  Witch you a happy Halloween!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Orange.
  Orange who?
  Orange you glad it’s spooky season?
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Dracula.
  Dracula who?
  Dracula up some laughs!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Ghost.
  Ghost who?
  Ghost to show you we like puns!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Candy.
  Candy who?
  Candy you pass me a joke?
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Mummy.
  Mummy who?
  Mummy knows best, so unwrap a laugh!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Skeleton.
  Skeleton who?
  Skeleton you in on a secret, we’re funny!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Vampire.
  Vampire who?
  Vampire me some punchlines!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Zombie.
  Zombie who?
  Zombie nice and share the candy!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Bat.
  Bat who?
  Bat you didn’t see me coming!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Pumpkin.
  Pumpkin who?
  Pumpkin spice up the party!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Trick.
  Trick who?
  Trick yourself into a treat!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Spider.
  Spider who?
  Spider needs a web upgrade!
  
• Knock, knock.
  Who’s there?
  Witch.
  Witch who?
  Witch way to the candy bowl? 

Trick or Treat Jokes

Doorbell ready bits that sweeten every porch stop.

• The porch light clicked on and my candy plan took flight. That is mission control.
• My neighbor gave raisins and called it vintage candy. That is fruit with PR.
• I wore a pirate costume and my candy chest overflowed. Treasure tastes like sugar.
• The doorbell rang and my pillowcase filed for overtime. Benefits included chocolate.
• Candy corn tried to pay rent. It was sweet but short.
• The kid yelled trick and the fog machine panicked. Treat solved it fast.
• I swapped masks at each house and the map app called me mysterious. The ratings soared.
• A skeleton handed out ribs at the grill. That is commitment to a bit.
• The witch gave potions labeled apple juice. The party flew after that.
• My pumpkin bucket squeaked at the heavy load. Strong core though.
• The vampire offered a bite and I handed him taffy. He is still chewing.
• The ghost floated by the candy bowl and set off the sheet alarm. The cat confessed.
• The zombie asked for brains and took a cookie shaped like one. Culinary compromise wins.
• The werewolf said nice costume and the moon blushed. Timing is everything.
• I said trick or treat and the door replied yes. Best smart home ever. 

Witch Jokes That’ll Cast a Laughing Spell

Broom powered halloween jokes brewed fresh in the cauldron.

• My witch neighbor got pulled over and said it is a broom carpool lane. The officer gave a wave.
• The coven launched a cafe called Hex Press Coffee. The reviews bubbled with joy.
• Her hat is so tall that birds file flight plans. Airspace is shared.
• The broom has a loyalty program and it sweeps me off my feet. I keep redeeming miles.
• Her cauldron does meal prep and the soup stares back. It blinks on Thursdays.
• The black cat runs HR and every meeting ends with a purr. That is culture fit.
• She cast a spell for patience and the kettle finally simmered. Then it sassed her.
• I asked which way to the party and the witch pointed up. We took the scenic route.
• She keeps a wand holster and calls it wandrobe. Fashion week gasped.
• The cauldron tried keto and the bubbles had abs. They popped with pride.
• She joined a book club and brought grimoires. The snacks were ominous and good.
• The broom tried a standing desk and jumped careers. It now leads flights.
• Her potion for confidence tastes like strong tea. Suddenly I believed in my haircut.
• The witch switched to solar and the moon filed a complaint. The stars applauded.
• She opened a salon called Curl and Hex. You leave with volume and a cackle.

Vampire Jokes That Don’t Suck

Night shift halloween jokes with capes, coffins, and a little garlic drama.

• The vampire joined a night shift union and negotiated coffee forever. Morale rose with the moon.
• He bought a mirror and left a five star review for the frame. He trusts the vibe.
• Garlic bread moved in upstairs and he started a feud. The hallway smells brave.
• He drives a hearse with seat coolers. The cape appreciates the breeze.
• The bat is his fitness coach and every rep is a flap. Wingspan gains look strong.
• He counts steps on a coffin treadmill. That is grave cardio.
• He volunteers at the blood drive and calls it community service. The snacks are a perk.
• The dentist pitched fang whitening and he said subtle please. He wants a soft glow.
• Daylight savings hits and he files an HR ticket. Time is a workplace hazard.
• He tried to juice beets and the blender screamed. The curtains panicked.
• The cape does dry clean only. It throws shade on laundry day.
• He cannot reflect but he can self reflect. That is growth.
• The vampire started a podcast about neck work. It is career adjacent.
• He got staked in a chess game and still said good move. Sportsmanship matters.
• He ordered takeout and the restaurant listed him as windowless pickup. The note was considerate.

Skeleton & Bone Jokes That’ll Crack You Up

Rib ticklers from the humerus crowd.

• The skeleton tried yoga and found his inner piece. The mat squeaked with every rib.
• He told a humerus joke and I felt it to the elbow. That is deep comedy.
• His spine hosts a book club and prefers thrillers. Goosebumps are outsourced.
• He plays xylophone at open mic night. The crowd gets rattled in a good way.
• The skull took a selfie and no one blinked. Best group photo ever.
• He went to the casketeria and ordered bone broth. The straw whistled.
• The pelvis joined a dance team and nailed the hip hop. The audience stood.
• He bought a winter coat and called it optional. Breeze management is a lifestyle.
• He tried roller skates and scattered across town. We called it bone dash.
• The rib started a podcast called tickle me maybe. Laughs echo in stereo.
• He filed a complaint about seat cushions. They lack marrows support.
• The femur flexed in the mirror. Confidence grew a few inches.
• He cannot get grounded by his parents. He is already ground level.
• The skeleton opened a repair shop and fixed loose screws. The waitlist rattles.
• He joined a debate club and promised to stick to the bare bones. The judges clapped.

Ghost Jokes That’ll Lift Your Spirits

Light as air halloween jokes with a friendly boo.

• The ghost failed a driving test because the sheet belt would not click. Safety still matters.
• She tried to sneak snacks and the chips sat right through her. That crinkle haunts.
• Their group chat is called boo crew. The typing bubbles scare everyone.
• He booked a vacation to The Dead Sea. He loves a themed float.
• The haunted house has great airflow. Rent includes dramatic whispers.
• A ghost tried stand up and the mic stand trembled. The jokes went through the roof.
• She put on sunscreen for the vibe. Transparency with a glow is a look.
• He loves hide and seek. He wins at seek and forgets the hide.
• The ghost joined a marching band and played the spirit drum. The beat floats.
• He knocked on a door and the door knocked back. Polite haunting is rare.
• She ordered a latte and called it boo juice. Foam art screamed.
• The ghost dog fetched the stick into next week. Good boy spooked the calendar.
• He tried meditation and disappeared a bit extra. The app said nice work.
• The ghost took a job in customer support. Hold music wailed softly.
• She waved at the mirror. It waved back more energetically.

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Monster, Zombie and Mummy Jokes

Monstrous mayhem with brains wraps and howls on a school night.

• The zombie joined a coffee club and called it brain roast. Two sips and he remembered algebra.
• The mummy hates humid weather because bandages frizz. He calls it a wrap emergency.
• The monster updated his dating profile and wrote loves long walks by the graveyard. The moon super liked.
• The zombie tried a salad and called it missing brains. He asked for croutons shaped like thoughts.
• The mummy opened a spa that offers deep wrap therapy. Clients leave uplifted and crinkly.
• The werewolf set an alarm for the full moon. He snoozed it and woke up hairy at brunch.
• The monster started yoga and the mat roared back. They bonded over deep breaths.
• The zombie wrote a to do list and ate the bullet points. Productivity tasted great.
• The mummy tried online shopping and ordered extra rolls. Delivery called him a valued wrap buyer.
• The monster took a personality test and got chaotic neutral with slime. He framed it.
• The zombie applied for a brainy job and nailed the lunch break. Performance met expectations.
• The mummy joined a running club and beat everyone by a bandage. The finish line laughed.
• The monster loves karaoke and only sings monster mashups. The crowd howls on cue.
• The zombie finally read a book and licked the best parts. He said it was delicious literature.
• The mummy planned a vacation and booked a sarcophagus and breakfast. He tipped in pharaoh coins.

Funny Halloween Food and Candy Jokes

Sweet tooth halloween jokes for candy bowls and snack tables.

• Candy corn applied for a job at the salad bar. It got hired as secret corn.
• A caramel apple stuck to the plate and claimed squatter rights. The fork filed a complaint.
• The pumpkin pie told a joke and everyone cracked the crust. Laughter served warm.
• The chocolate bar wanted a break and split the room. It felt refreshed.
• The lollipop decided to see the world. It came back well traveled and sticky.
• The gummy bears formed a choir. They sounded sweet and a little chewy.
• The snack table had trust issues after a ghost taste test. Portions vanished.
• The cupcake wore a tiny witch hat. Fashion met frosting and won.
• Candy wrappers made perfect confetti. Cleanup called it a sticky party.
• The soda bubbles dressed as ghosts. The burp said boo softly.
• The apple bobbing tub became a spa. The apples came out refreshed and wise.
• The pretzels tied themselves into knots. Stress snacks are honest.
• The popcorn popped at a jump scare. Good timing and buttered applause.
• The cookie tray disappeared. The ghost left crumbs as a calling card.
• The ice cream screamed at midnight. It was living its best pun.

Corny Jokes and Puns

Groaners so corny they are eerily effective Halloween jokes

• My ghoul friends said I look boo tiful tonight. I blushed like a jack o lantern.
• I told a skele fun joke and it ribs the room. The laughter had backbone.
• The party was fang tastic. Even the garlic danced.
• Our playlist was howl arious. Every chorus raised the fur.
• The decor was spooktacular. Even the cobwebs posed for photos.
• My costume is witch approved. It has real spell energy.
• I tried eerie sistible charm. The mirror winked then fainted.
• We had grave expectations. The punch exceeded them.
• The boo crew rolled in deep. Spirits lifted fast.
• I had a bone to pick with the snacks. Then I picked seconds.
• The pumpkin had gourd goals. It achieved them with a bright smile.
• The batty lighting set the mood. It also found my keys.
• That joke had bite. It left a tiny mark of joy.
• My casketeria lunch was to die for. The nap was eternal and five minutes.
• The broom had sweep dreams. It woke ready to glide.

Halloween Riddles 

Two line brain teasers with friendly frights halloween jokes.

• I have a face but no mouth and I glow at night. I am a carved pumpkin.
• I rattle when I laugh and I never skip meals. I am a skeleton with snacks.
• I walk through walls yet hate closed doors. I am a polite ghost.
• I only come out when the moon is loud. I am a werewolf listening party.
• I sit in a box all day and rise for night meetings. I am a vampire commute.
• I am wrapped in history and love a good nap. I am a mummy on break.
• I am full of stories and a few screams. I am a haunted house.
• I bring you candy when you knock just right. I am a friendly neighbor with treats.
• I fly without wings and sweep up traffic. I am a broom in the fast lane.
• I shine on porches and fear ladders. I am a pumpkin on step duty.
• I am cold to the touch yet warm the party. I am dry ice in a punch bowl.
• I chase brains but get lost at libraries. I am a zombie with directions.
• I am a room with no doors or chairs. I am a mushroom at the party.
• I am thin as air yet heavy with whispers. I am fog from the cauldron.
• I sleep in a case and wake to chase bugs. I am a bat on patrol.

Halloween Couple Jokes

Partner powered halloween jokes for duos in matching costumes.

• We showed up as salt and pepper. We seasoned the dance floor. The DJ tasted success.
• She was a witch and I was a broom. I carried the relationship and we flew.
• He dressed as a vampire and I wore garlic. Boundaries never smelled better.
• We went as plug and socket. We were well connected and fully charged.
• Our skeleton couple costume had chemistry. The rib cage kept the beat.
• We paired as pumpkin and pie. People said we were sweet and a little flaky.
• She was the ghost and I was the sheet belt. Safety is our love language.
• I was a bat and she was the cave. We echoed our hearts. The room approved.
• He was a mummy and I was the wrap label. We stuck together.
• We wore matching zombies. Coffee made it a healthy relationship.
• She went as cat and I went as dog. We agreed to share the couch.
• We dressed as trick and treat. I handled logistics and she handled candy.
• Our costume was two left feet. The dance floor accepted us.
• We tried Romeo and ghouliet. The balcony booed.
• We went as broom and dustpan. We cleaned up compliments.

Halloween Pet Jokes

Furry friendly halloween jokes for cats dogs and costume curious critters.

• My dog wore a hot dog costume. He chased himself. Cardio achieved.
• The cat wore a witch hat. It fired the broom. Management was purrsonal.
• The hamster dressed as a mummy. The wheel called it wrap speed.
• The goldfish tried a ghost costume. It looked the same and felt proud.
• The parrot yelled trick or treat before the bell. Training works.
• My dog stole a bone from the lawn skeleton. He said fetch accomplished.
• The cat shoved the pumpkin off the table. It called it gravity work.
• The turtle wore a vampire cape. Slow bite with deep commitment.
• The lizard got dragon wings. He smiled. The crickets surrendered.
• The bunny wore a ghost sheet with ear holes. Cute and spooky.
• The ferret raided the candy corn. It hid snacks in the couch vault.
• The dog refused a spider suit. Eight legs is a scam.
• The cat napped in the cauldron. It brewed purr tea.
• The pug howled at a donut. Full moon energy with sprinkles.
• The guinea pig wore a pumpkin suit. Round trip achieved.

Short Halloween Puns and One Liners

Punchy halloween jokes that hit fast and leave room for candy.

• Ghouls just want to have fun.
• Witch way to the snack table.
• I am here for the boos and the candy.
• Fang you very much.
• I feel gourd geous tonight.
• Too ghoul for school.
• You are my boo crew.
• Bone appetit at the casketeria.
• Resting witch face is trending.
• If you have it haunt it.
• Have a spooktacular night.
• Creepin it real since October.
• Broom service is included.
• I got ghosted and still showed up.
• This party has grave expectations.

Halloween Caption Ideas for Social Media

Caption ready lines to post with your costumes and candy haul. These halloween jokes also work as captions.

• Squad ghouls on patrol. #Halloween #SpookySeason
• Broom hair do not care. #WitchVibes
• Consider this porch officially boo tiful. #FallAesthetic
• I came for candy and stayed for laughs. #TrickOrTreat
• Vibes are fang tastic tonight. #PartyMode
• Pumpkin goals met. Smile included. #PumpkinPatch
• Ghosted by the mic and still crushed it. #OpenMic
• Powered by sugar and puns. #CandyLife
• Matching costumes. Maximum chaos. #CoupleCostume
• I have a bone to pick with the snacks. #SkeletonCrew
• Witch better have my candy. #SpellEnergy
• Posting halloween jokes all night. #PunClub
• This cape does not do subtle. #VampireStyle
• Boo crew in the chat. Spirits lifted. #GroupShot
• Wrapped up the night like a pro. #MummyMoves

Printable Jokes for Kids and Parties

Print these halloween jokes on cards for classrooms parties and quick icebreakers.

• Why did the ghost bring a ladder to the haunted house. He wanted to raise the spirits.
• What do you call a witch who excels at school. An honor spell student.
• Why did the vampire join the choir. He wanted to improve his bite control.
• What kind of music do mummies love. Wrap music.
• Why did the skeleton bring a pencil to the party. He wanted to draw some attention.
• Why did the ghost go to school. He wanted to improve his boo cabulary.
• What do you call a pumpkin that tells jokes. A pun kin.
• Why did the spider sit near the computer. It wanted to check its website.
• Why did the zombie cross the road. He heard there were brain cupcakes.
• What do you call a skeleton detective. Sherlock Bones.
• What happens when a witch becomes a stand up comic. She gets a brooming ovation.
• Why did the bat stay home from the party. He needed some wing time.
• What do you call a haunted chicken. A poultry geist.
• Why did the candy corn apply for a job. It wanted seasonal work.
• What do ghosts like to drink at picnics. Ghoul aid.

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FAQ’s 

What is a simple quote for Halloween funny? 

I came for the candy and stayed for the laughs.

What to say instead of happy Halloween funny? 

Say Have a spooktacular night or Witch you a fang tastic evening.

What is a good trick for Halloween ? 

Hide a motion sensor behind the candy bowl so the skeleton says boo when kids reach in.  

How do you wish Halloween funny? 

Witch you a fang tastic night filled with candy laughs and zero cobweb drama. 

What are some clean knock knock Halloween jokes? 

Try Knock knock who is there Boo Boo who Do not cry it is Halloween. 

How do I write my own Halloween puns fast? 

Pick a creature and a prop then twist a common phrase into a pun.

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Final Thoughts

You came for quick laughs and left with a full bag of jokes. From kids to adults, knock knock to riddles, captions to printables, this guide gives you punchlines for every moment and mood. It is easy to scan, share, and print in minutes.

Bookmark it, share it, and bring it to your next party or classroom. Sprinkle these halloween jokes through intros, games, and captions and you will keep spirits high without trying. Have fun, be kind, and keep the candy close.